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The crazy thoughts of a beautiful mind.

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These crazy thoughts are all mine. My mind interprets them but they come from my spirit. I’m wild and quite knowing. I used to be afraid of myself, but now I’ve embraced who I am. Sometimes, I wonder why I was born here. I wonder why I’m in this flesh of a petite woman. Why my voice is so tiny that I need to shout sometimes to be heard, and this is very annoying. I mean, I know why, but I still wonder. I’m glad that I am a woman though, because there is a mystery, power and strength to being a woman, especially a woke one.

I don’t look like I could hurt a fly, but I would to protect those I love. In my spirit, I feel like a giant and I am fearless. There is a raging within me for what is right and what is just. The craving in my spirit is for what is beyond here. It’s for love, life and progress. I am constantly seeking, constantly knocking, constantly asking and I have been blessed with amazing answers and insights that keep coming.

I feel trapped in this filthy place called earth. I feel like I don’t belong here. The madness here is too much. There are people here that are controlling things and making life unbearable for everyone who isn’t a part of them. They have poisoned the food, the water, the air and our minds. They are also corrupting our spirits and causing us to hate one another through racism and religion. This world would be a literal heaven on earth without them.

Yes, I am like an alien… here to observe. Here to learn. Here to help. Here to change things. But for now, I have to wait because it’s not time. Time, my elusive friend. One day, I will salute you as an equal.

You’d think that because I’m vibrating higher, my life is all peachy and it is, lol. I am blessed and privileged and I have everything I need. But to whom much is given, much is expected. God doesn’t cut me slacks because He has given me enough to know not to mess up. Darkness doesn’t stop trying to overtake me either because if I so much as let my guard down, they come swooping in with attacks. Spiritual attacks of course because when my guard is down, my nightmares could make for blockbuster horror movies. Most days, I win and I am utterly grateful.

One thing I know though, is that joy and happiness are the greatest antidote to darkness. I know this because I’ve discovered that prayers alone aren’t enough. Nahh, it’s not enough to pray because if all you do is pray but you still allow yourself to be sad, then your prayers are kinda useless. The reason for this is that when you allow negative emotions in, even in the best intentions, you’re vibrating low so you’re still a pawn of darkness. But if while you pray, or even if you don’t pray as often, but you make it a point to be happy and grateful, then you’re aligning with the Will of The Almighty God and you’re more likely to receive His messages and blessings.

My life belongs to God Almighty, no jokes. I gave my life to Him a long time ago. It was a personal thing really. I didn’t go to church for this one. I just stood naked in my room one early morning at 3am and cried my eyes out. I screamed too. I told Him… no, I demanded that He take over my life. And He has. I get messages from Him and from my guardian angels. I get them through dreams, synchronising numbers and feelings in my gut that literarily guide me. I have paid for my past and I’ve been shown my future. I have never been more under attack than I am now but I have never been more blessed. Plus, you know what they say, when the same enemy fights you for long enough, you learn their tricks!

It has never been easy for me to make friends because I can deadass see through people. I see even those dark secrets they feel that they hide so carefully. If I can’t sense it in while talking to them or watching them, I dream about them, vis-a-vis that person’s intention towards me. When I get a feeling about something or someone, I’m hardly ever wrong and I’m not boasting. This is both a blessing and a curse.

I used to be afraid to be myself. I told myself that I’ll scare people away and lose friends if I did. I wanted to be normal. Lol, well there aren’t a lot of ‘normal’ things about me. In any case, God in His infinite wisdom took that out of my hands by revealing my so called friends to me one after the other. I lost them all, save a few. I went through a phase of complete and utter loneliness. It was messed up but those events have literarily shaped my life for the better.

That’s the funny thing about actually putting your life in God’s hands. On the one hand, you’re be in control because there is so much He will teach you and reveal to you; but on the other hand, you’re not in control because you’re now subject to His Will. It’s absolutely amazing though because He is Love, so he always comes through for me, but then He is also Justice so I cannot dare deviate from His plan for my life, which He has mercifully shown me. Its like everytime I do something stupid that is not in accordance with His Will, He whips me back in line, in a very loving but obvious way.

So here I am, in my period of waiting. I’m totally giddy with excitement but I’m also wary of the magnitude of work I have to do. I’m wary because it’s so easy to fail on this earth plane. But In Spite of this, I’m very determined and grateful. I have everything I could possibly need, but not all that I want yet. I have all the promises of tomorrow today, which is more than most people are privileged to have. I’m being constantly prepared for my future. Everyday there’s literarily lessons to learn and I have to learn them to level up otherwise, I’ll experience the groundhog day effect.

Why am I writing this? Why this blog? I am writing this because I’m ready to meet my spiritual tribe. By this, I mean the people whose spirits are similar to mine. The people who know that they don’t belong here but who stick it out because they know that they are here for a reason. I am calling out to them because I know that they’re like me. They are also constantly seeking something beyond themselves and beyond mankind’s limited understanding of life. So, I’m calling on the people who believe in the Almighty God, the empaths, the confessors, the clairvoyants and clairaudient, the dreamers, the criers, the seers, the seekers,the warriors, the prophets, the conspiracy theorists… and I’m excited to finally meet you all.

Cheers!😊

Self-love-and-crazy-thoughts
Self love and crazy thoughts

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